Seven Deadly Habits Of The Miserable Millionaire, Intro # 2

Main Road to Misery, High Road to Hell: False Identification With The Ego

‘To be – or not to be – that is the question’ – Hamlet

Do you want to know, deeply, who you really are and why you’re here (living on this planet)?  Then click this link.

Most people don’t. Most people cannot. Most people totally unconsciously identify themselves in terms of their social conditioning, beliefs and the expectations put on them by others? Meaning, you might reasonably define yourself as: I am a man, I am English, I am thin, I am a millionaire, I am unhappy, I am Jewish, I am an alcoholic, I am an engineer, I am a feminist, I am black, I am gay, and on and on and on and on… defining yourself by specific external reference points. These reference points are supremely compelling. They are also ‘valid’ in a sense of the word. There is often objective, scientific, empirical evidence to support them. There are others (maybe millions of you) who share the same sense of identity. You get to ‘belong’ to a group, a nation, a culture, a religion, a movement, a cause. You could be on a mission. You could have a ‘purpose’. You could achieve great things. You could be a contender.

But this is still not ‘the truth’ of who you really are. Identity is not the same as the true self. It’s not innate. Identity is an adopted self-concept. Learned. Conditioned. It symbolises the true self, but only exists as it’s shadow. It can flood you with emotions (that go down as soon as they go up) but it cannot give you the stillness and security of true joy. Thus, the sobering reality is that the more you are attached to your self-concept the less authentic happiness you are fooled into settling for – because true happiness cannot show up when we focus on a falsehood. Because I say so? No! Look around. Look at the News. Look in the mirror. Look at the scales. Look at the suicide statistics!

False Identification is the primary cause of all your pain and suffering, and all – as Shakespeare said in the ‘to be or not to be‘ speech – the heartache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to’. I’d go even further and assert that ‘False Identification’ is now and always has been the root cause of all human suffering and conflict – globally. All the other ‘habits’ are mere symptoms of this overarching dilemma.

One way to begin to exit the dilemma, and enter deep, lasting happiness is to shift the importance of these False Identifications from ‘definition’ to ‘expression’. To detach yourself from them and acknowledge that ‘who you really are’ is far, far greater than the personality, religion, nationality or job you do. For example you could say, I am expressing myself for now as ‘black, gay, woman, Christian, feminist, fashion designer’, or whatever. This begs the question, ‘then who am I really?’ And, by asking this question from that place of authentic enquiry, you are now opening up a higher level of your consciousness to allow the truth to speak to you in whatever way is perfect for who you are, where you are, and what you need to deal with in your life.

These are not the easiest shifts to make and questions to ask. If you are at a ‘life fulcrum’ and would like some assistance, then do, please, get in touch.

If you’re interested in how Shakespeare has, under the noses of the orthodoxy, sneaked in the ‘forbidden’ keys to deep, lasting happiness, and spiritual fulfilment – read this astonishing book: Shakespeare’s Revelation. 

Let’s talk.

Deadly habit # 1


Seven Deadly Habits Of Miserable Millionaires Intro # 1

How to transform money from a symbol of happiness to the experience

‘Sometimes money costs too much’ – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Only when you put your own happiness first, can happiness last.

The mission of ‘happiness first consulting’ is to enable you to choose to be who you really are – and experience the authentic, deep, lasting happiness that is already inside you.

Since biblical times, the pursuit of money seems to have brought happiness to some and misery to many. The saying in Luke that it is ‘easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle that a rich man to enter the kingdom of God’, is a metaphor of detachment and humility. The ‘eye of the needle’ was a small gate into Jerusalem through which camels could only pass if they took off their burden and went on their knees. It’s not the having (or not) of riches that weighs us down, but our attachment to materiality and the lust that drives us to seek in vain where happiness does not lie.

The power of money?

How does a pile of paper, a box of coin, or a number in a bank account gain so much power over mankind? Because we give over our power to something that does not exist! Money is only a symbol. A symbol of energy. A reflection of our relationship with ourselves in that area. And often a symbol of what we want more than everything else in life.

But symbols are not the reality. Symbols represent the reality. For example: a menu is a symbol of food. It can increase your appetite, but would you eat the menu to satisfy your hunger? The menu points the way – until you participate in the eating of the reality and have the experience. Similarly just having money can give you a thrill, but cannot give you lasting happiness. But your desire for money points the way to the fulfilment you seek. The clearer you are about what you really want enables you to use the symbol as a wayshower to the reality you’re after.

But there is a catch. Inside us we have two very different ‘selves’ – one false, the other true. The false self is insatiably driven. The true self is already fulfilled. If you ask your ‘false self’ what it wants, it will lead you into stress, burnout and bitter disappointment. Only if you ask your ‘true self’ will you be led towards your destiny and ultimate fulfilment. We call this quest ‘putting happiness first’, because only putting happiness first, makes happiness last.

The false self is loud, urgent and urges you into fools’ gold. The true self is quiet, patient and leads you to your highest good.

Whether you live in a castle or a cardboard box, lasting happiness is equally available to all. Likewise, rich or poor, all misery follows, like the night, the day, from erroneous identification with the ‘false self’ and it’s seven deadly habits:

1) Judging
2) Feeling guilty
3) Over-trusting
4) Controlling relationships
5) Weaponising weakness
6) Withholding generosity (or being profligate)
7) Seeking revenge

The axiom of ‘happiness first’

‘To be most accursed, rich, only to be wretched,
thy great fortunes are made thy chief afflictions’ – Flavius, Timon of Athens

The axiom of ‘happiness first consulting’ is that you are already infinitely wealthy and blissfully happy right now. This is also the hidden underlying principle throughout the works of the spiritual master, poet and playwright, William Shakespeare. In this series of blogs, I shall be using famous Shakespeare quotes in a soul-centric way to illustrate this essential truth.

When you were born, you were literally a bundle of pure joy. Your soul, your true self, exists in a state of freedom, detachment, understanding, compassion, unconditional love, and instantaneous forgiveness. But this natural state of being has been ‘sicklied o’er with the pale caste of thought’. Over 7 billion men, women, and children on this planet are, in reality, blissfully happy. But if you look at the 10 O’clock news, or perhaps in the mirror, this is far from what you see and hear.

What the hell is going on? What the hell are you focusing your attention on that robs you of the bliss, joy, happiness, and fulfilment that is freely available right here inside you – if only you would look?

And, more important, what really is it you need to re-focus on to restore and enjoy the original, pure state of happiness that lasts forever and will never go away?

The next blog in the series summarises the fundamental, existential choice we all have, but few make, that takes out out of the dilemmas of materiality and into the wellspring of happiness already inside you.