before you take your next small step – or even giant leap – I want to tell you a lie…

Do you know the lie most people (regardless of race, religion, or culture) grow up believing?

They believe they are fundamentally bad.

This is a lie. Not just any old lie. But the fundamental, existential lie that rips off our happiness, and is driving humanity to destroy the planet.

People may do things that are judged bad, they may feel bad, but no one is fundamentally bad.

We begin believing we are bad because parents, teachers and priests tell us we are – countless times!

Believing one is bad generates an existential fear. Fear that becomes an insatiable force of nature that drives us to prove to ourselves and ‘all the world’ we are ‘not bad’.

Because the premise is false, no matter what we do to prove we are ‘not bad’ cannot work. It’s brilliant at driving results, but lousy at making us happy. Instead, the (often unconscious) fear of being ‘not good enough’ drives us into a life of over/under achievement, emptiness, futility, disappointment, anxiety, depression, addiction, stress and burnout.

No matter how great your achievements, if your deeper motivation, however subtle, has anything to do with ‘proving I’m not bad’ they cannot satisfy you – because it’s a lie!

All the ills of the world are predicated on this lie – a lie that seems to have contaminated our very DNA. This lie is the root cause of all the problems we experience – individually, collectively, globally.

Just look around at all the things we humans do to prove we are important, worthwhile, superior, and worthy of recognition. If we enter into any action, however noble, based on this fundamental, existential lie, it is impossible for us to experience the authentic, deep, lasting happiness that is our destiny.

The solution is awareness.

The solution is awareness of our true self. Our authentic self. Awareness of an inner place of natural knowing that we already are a ‘good’ person way beyond the ideas and images of so-called ‘good’ provided to us from the schools, media and the pulpits.

The same actions, the same achievements – done, not to prove anything, but to express our inner truth – will enhance and magnify the authentic state of happiness that is already inside us.

Discovering this truth, banishing the lie, is the starting point for the work we do at ‘happiness first’.

Happiness inventory

If you click the ‘let’s talk’ button, you will also automatically receive the ‘happiness inventory’. This useful questionnaire enables you to reflect on some of the ways you may be leaking happiness and thus how to plug the hole. This can be the basis for our initial conversation – or not – it’s up to you.

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‘Seek first to become thin within, thence to become thin without.’…

Roger M 2Roger Matthews, CEO, WCRS Matthews Marcantonio 

‘In a way, working with Paul saved my life. At our first session I told him how unhappy and stressed I was. How all the ghastly politics and money-grubbing was sickening me. It was seriously affecting my immune system. He looked me in the eye and asked with piercing finality, “do you want to die – or do you want to live?’ In that moment, I made the decision to live the life I really wanted. And he made sure I did. He’s the first one I trusted to share my music and poetry with. I am sincerely grateful to him.’